My sister, so much to say

My sister is my friend, ever since she was born I always knew she was going to be precious towards me and our families life. Even as we got older until this very day, I definitely need help, i've pissed my sister off so many times. There's been so much conflict between me: always being a sarcastic brat!!  and her: doing her exaggerations and her drama's and her bad-ass attitude.
and personnally, I'm in no mood to rant about her anymore. I just want to get along, I love my sister, If she was dying, i would give my own heart to save her, I feel like she derserves more than the regular sarcastic sh** i give her. I love it when we get along. I always seemed to make her laugh at night, ( of course she was over tired) And she makes me laugh as well. She doesn't thinks so, but she does. At night, I laugh out loud sometimes because of her.

Sometimes, we always had those soft momments. She'd ask me for advice, when she was down i cheered her up, (of course i'd had to humiliate myself of course) I hate when i'm a smart ass with her, she's my friend and my sister, It hurts me everytime she looks at me when she's angry, I hate that so much!! !

And knowing that i'm the cause of her not talking to me, i feel like my face just got grabbed and was thrown into horse sh**!! Because its stinks to lose her because of me.
And the last few weeks have been nothing but back and forth yappity yap yap!! And i'm tired of it. I mean, when i get married and MAYBE have children, i want them to get along with there aunt Cassandra, i'd rather have my children get along with her than f**king everything up with her because i can't have a «normal» conversation with her. I was actually thinking several times, my possible children saying - Dad? Why don't you talk to your sister??» I would not know what to say to that. - Son, Your dad never got along with your sister.»
That makes my heart grumble, minus that i'm hungry, but theres room for guilt right??

I hate having my sister not be able to understand the different way of thinking, and i especially hate when I just hurt the hell out of her, she said to me: - Sarcasm hurts.......» she said in tears. I just want everything to get better, things won't go away easily, I have to learn, she has to learn, we both have to learn. I want to get along, way before i get married, have kids (again, repetition of what i said earlier on this post) and have that relationship with my sister as a BFF, my sister means everything, and her saying to me she'll never forgive me ever again, makes my heart feels like she just took a nailgun and just kept on shooting at me, piercing me with all the flesh tearing away, and we all know that after flesh, there is the bones, the muscles, etc. Eventually it will lead to my heart, and she'll rip it to shreds.

My sister Cassandra, means everything to me, and I hate being the smart mouth hurting her, I admit, i've hit more than three strikes, i'm already out, i'm done, but she has to know that i'm sorry. Whatever happens, she may or may not have made the right descision, she knows what she's doing......and frankly......she was right, i don't know what i'm doing


*sigh* whatever

Tyler