HAHAHAHA!!! LOVES SUCKS!!! B*LLS!!!

Let me get this straight, from what this f*cked up generation shows me, only looks care when you love someone??!!! HA!!! Makes me laugh and piss my pants when i hear of that, because SOME people can't seem to keep the relationships going because

1. the guy just loves boobs and genitals and only likes that person because of that. (NOT WHAT I'M EXPERIENCING)

2. The girl/guy can only be interested because the have the money and power (NOT WHAT I'M EXPERIENCING)

3. The person that you may love turn out to be a completely different person when it come to affection, HA!! That's what i'm getting to experience, let me elaborate:

this person (obviously a girl) is what a call in my dictionnary "Amazingly Beautiful" it was a shocker that this person was single, I was completely moved by her beauty, her smile, her interlectual thinking, her .....fussy eating habits and the way she yelled in English (not at me of course !!) and many other things,

She came a long way from being here in Canada, she came from Congo, yes, she's African, (doesn't really matter) there was times where i wanted to just be alone with her and just talk, talk talk and talk, get to know her and picture myself being a humble and "actual" nice guy that can treat a girl with respect (unlike other men at school). **Sigh**

We first met in grade ten, in gym class, our teacher was teaching us salsa dance and me and her danced, (that was a struggle that i had with anxiety, especially with a person this beautiful is not acting like a b*tch!! Unlike the other hot chicks who smoke pot and give BJ'S to anyone that says that they're hot. :( )

HA!! I remember it like it was yesterday, she was pretty, wonderful hair......see that's the thing about the women of Africa, they tend to have beautiful hair, braided, natural (never seen it though) , smoothed into the back of the head)

It sickens me to see how much injustice for me not to be able to communicate verbally with her, i always write her notes and tell her how i feel, but there's something that wasn't right about that, there was many things that i could truthfully tell her in my letter, but i was just scared that people that she knew may be showed the notes i right her.

And when it comes to sense of humour, she apparently laughs at burps and farts ....(awkward yet funny....somehow) and when i get overconfident about my looks she just laughs because she knows it isn't true that i'm "that" handsome (or even handsome at all, if it's that type of case) ........................**sigh**

As of these last few weeks there has been many complications regarding my feelings towards her, everything is like a roller coaster ride, i love her so much, she doesn't seem to understand my perspective of "love". Either i'm too good looking or there has been some major misunderstanding about me and her. Nothing feels like it's good enough, i want to engage into a relationship and she can't really understand what i'm saying, either that or she just isn't interested, that's when i cracked.........tired of the same routine, she's been chatting with another friend of hers in which "I" also loved for a while, it seemed that she agreed with her that i wasn't beautiful at all, that's was a little too f*cking honest right there!! If she wanted to help me float my boat (other words: make me feel happy) she'd be telling me lies instead of just "avoiding" the question: - Is Tyler beautiful??"

BUT NOOO!!! someone's gotta lay down the fire, one shot can be lethal my friends.....

Anyways, what else can i do?? go play tennis and whack my balls in a jar that says WILSON with a racket??! I haven't headed to the courts yet and that's my discovery of stress relief???!! NFW!!! (No.F*cking.Way)

I am tired of being judge by the looks on the outside (I AM SOMEWHAT GOOD LOOKING!!)
and then be rejected by some s*** that has more sexual relationship than Blanche Devero from the Golden Girls in a week, nothing makes senses, what?? is it my so called "sarcasm" I am not ALL the time sarcastic, during critical situation (like dissing your mom for example) is when i MOSTLY use my sarcasm and then i get LIKELY grounded OK??!!!

I don't know anymore, i'm tired of this same of routine of nice looking people choosing the hockey playing loser instead of a computer genius (who may or may not give you free repairs on your computer!!! ). it always seems to be the pretty people that are the a-holes. Damm!! it just sucks to have someone SOOOOO attractive, and then she turns you down without honesty and then it ends like that.........................................................................................................

Man!! I LOVE THIS BLOG!!! ANYONE ELSE WANNA SEE ME FREAK OUT ON BLOGSPOT.COM???!!!

YEAH!!! Rejection rules!!!

Give'ya an update later today and see what the hell is going on..........

Tyler Mac the depressed

AAARRGHHH!!! Money is the dumbest thing that man has ever invented!!!

Something lucky always happens to me, i have this distinctive thing about lightsabers, it amazes me how a glowing stick manages to make people mad!! I love it!! Sadly, i've always hated the tiny little ones made out of hardened plastic, and the "Plastic" blade was only sixteen inches of length. Like many posts before, i have told everyone that i knew, that i was getting a saber, like it or not my parents let me get a job (i'm sorry, i should have rephrased it: Ready or not.) I was tired of seeing things that where "over" my "allowance", and i was 15 years old when i was thinking about working somewhere, the problem was : where? , besides, My mouth was drooling when i saw this:

And then i saw several other designs that seemed "cool" at the time such as this one:

And then there was many other's that inspired me to buy, but this one (which i've bought) has made me happy at the beginning and then it made me upset was from a company called Saberforge, i'm returning the defective product that they send me (without even any supplies to allow me to attach the blade to the hilt.........curious)

But then i feel in love with Ultrasabers (in other words: I'm trying another company) They make saber out of complete near/undestructable/great color/comes with a screw/good price/good shipping/etc/etc/etc

Sadly, i have to return the first one that i bought already (but.......i already got the money order for the other one.........so.......................yeah!!) Now i'm just trying to find a certain company that makes it easy for me to :

1. Have a continuous supply of sabers (in case of large people want to duel)

2. Have a reliable company that ships really quick (in which Ultrasabers, they do.)

3. They have a variety of sabers (single-sabers, double-bladed-staff, tonfas, kamas, etc. )

4. They can have more than one method of payment (in which Ultrasabers has many, varieting from: paypal, money-orders, etc. )

Nothing else seems to surprise me, but i'm taking care of many things right, now, my school work, my job, my saber issues, my love life, my battle with anxiety and it's entity that lives within me, and there also a problem with me and money, i HAVE TO open a savings account, that's the thing that makes me want to save my money for the near-futur and beyond (like 10 years........or maybe 20 years.)

**sigh** and there's this craving for to point out what's going on with my love life, first of all, to all those who think i'm a f*ggot; my sexuality is currently none of your business, however i will point out something that i am heterosexual.

Anyways, love and sadness have made this a veeerrryyyy bumpy roller coaster ride, there that feeling of loving someone, and then just missing a certain person in your life, like my grand-father for example. I am very attracted to someone as of this point in my life (which i find to be normal at this stage in my life) she's quite the person, she's not from North America i can tell you that (that's it though!!) and she's quite pretty, yet there has been some..........complication regarding our understanding of each other, there hasn't been a day that i think of her, even at work. She make my life special, she means something and plays a part in my life at school, she 's one of the regular people that i speak to. It magical that it makes me feel this way, but then she's one person that you reeeaalllly need to completely have patience with (which in my degree of patience 1 being as impatience as a young child to 10 being patient a Jesus Christ would be, and my rating for myslef would be 5/10, i can tolerate something for a while but then i have to wonder:  what the hell is going on?? is there a change to the plan and i wasn't told about??!"

Anyways, let's see where it goes.

Tyler Mac