What is love?? I don't understand

For someone like me, I see love as a sign of affection, (I'm pretty sure that's an obvious for anyone that reads this) yet what I notice, is that when you think you love someone and can see yourself with them, then the next day, you go and meet that someone, you have a hard time picturing THEM because they are right THERE, it gets complicated into my mind when it comes to that,

my question is: Is there truely love for everyone?? Sadly, i've had little faith in my life when it comes to relationships, i see myself as a complicated person who is hard to understand, and when i say that i will elaborate:  I can't seem to talk verbaly with big words when i'm with someone, however when it comes to chatting with someone on MSN, FACEBOOK, EBUDDY, Etc. i seem to sound like one gigantic nerd that has this GREAT vocabulary, i don't know why that happens, I guess when people don't see me, i don't get nervous, and that comes when i have a relationship with someone,


Like for example, i don't do PDA (Personal Display of Affection) i do PrvDA (Private Display of Affection), that's one of the things I can't control, i don't like for people to know that i'm dating someone, or anything that the world can critize, especially when there are people that can make my life (and other people miserable), it sucks to see what people can do to each other, so cruely, so without regret and remorse (when that comes to murder and rape, of course.) I can't see myself having some public relationship with someone, to me, it doesn't click with me, and besides......i need my privacy.

 But when it comes to being alone with that person and getting that time that you've desired, you get alot of pressure off of you, that's just plain logic, it's simple, if i'm unable to have a public relationship in front of the others, it simply stresses me out. BUT, when it comes to being in your own comfort zone (AKA: Alone with that person that you love.) you get changed immediately.
And besides, there is bound to be people like me (Without the Aspergers) that just want a private relationship. I've always thought before that it was just completely ab-normal that someone would want that.

And when it comes to having someone special in my life, i have none at the momment, what is there to tell if i have nothing?? I do love someone, but is there something that i have to do to get acceptance from this person?? I don't ask someone out via : chatbox, i do it by letter and try  have a nice writing (which i don't have that talent........yet) when i do that, i seem to have that something better than just words, when i write my honest feelings, i have that capability to have anything achieved, getting people to understand (somehow THAT works) whatever the case, i see that writing everything down that i want to say, seems better than words.......it's a bad thing for me, because i need to practice speaking and getting those GD social cues!!

But the sooner the better, is what i say sometimes.

Oh well.......nothing changed yet,

Tyler Mac