Man...this isn't good..really...i'm pretty sure.

Oh god, what the hell have i done?!!! i couldn't take it anymore, i had to tell her, it wasn't pretty, i couldn't stand it any longer. What have i done lately to derserve this???!!! Let me tell you what i've done, (i apologize...it happened yesterday After i published yesterdays post)

I was having a ball with my friends and with her, it was great, i liked it, actually i enjoyed it whatever the case, she smiled at me, she made me feel special, and i like special, somewhat??? it's hard for me to express myslef honestly in front of someone's face, with Asperger's, my anxiety has increased my stress when it comes to romantic relationships. I can't have this any longer, that's why i wrote her a note, i remember precisely what i wrote i'll just translate from french to english (whoopee!!) 

: Dear (Name of Person)

I write this note today to express my joy over our friendship, i value it very much. I have been trying to write properly (not bad my writing?) (i wrote the note in pencil) 
I have to be honest, frankly i have been feeling some emotions that are rare in my case, I enjoy your smile and your laughter. It makes me feel so good inside, what else can i say?? I really value our friendship. 


Awwww.....wasn't that sweet??!!! (really...i don't see how that was sweet but i found to be a honest letter) i kinda of think i gave her a hint of my true feelings and my true intentions. (what are my true intentions??!!!) wellhelll... i kinda sended her an email telling that i wanted to be more that friends...well if possible....i mean you don't have to, kinda of thing. 

I feel like a pathethic A-Hole that is just focused on romance, i am crazy about this girl and i tried to keep it to myself...(maybe it didn't hurt to tell her After the exams!!) I wanted to hang out with her and take it slow. Or maybe will get there fast but then we'll take it slow'' no time for classic rock songs!!! I need to frickin have to come up with some genius plan to un-charme her for the time being: Maybe i can come to school in my underwear??!

Oh she'll like that!! Really, no ok, she won't.

I feel like i need succeeded in a way that i felt that i kept my secret for a while. (about two months.) i can't handle the pressure when i see her!!! Shit!! i can't!!! It's like i made the biggest mistake iin my life by writting a fr*cking letter (what??!!! you didn't expect me to say fuck??? whoops didn't cover that!!)

Well there goes another day with me and reality just behind the corner.


Tyler Mac