My sister is my friend, ever since she was born I always knew she was going to be precious towards me and our families life. Even as we got older until this very day, I definitely need help, i've pissed my sister off so many times. There's been so much conflict between me: always being a sarcastic brat!! and her: doing her exaggerations and her drama's and her bad-ass attitude.
and personnally, I'm in no mood to rant about her anymore. I just want to get along, I love my sister, If she was dying, i would give my own heart to save her, I feel like she derserves more than the regular sarcastic sh** i give her. I love it when we get along. I always seemed to make her laugh at night, ( of course she was over tired) And she makes me laugh as well. She doesn't thinks so, but she does. At night, I laugh out loud sometimes because of her.
Sometimes, we always had those soft momments. She'd ask me for advice, when she was down i cheered her up, (of course i'd had to humiliate myself of course) I hate when i'm a smart ass with her, she's my friend and my sister, It hurts me everytime she looks at me when she's angry, I hate that so much!! !
And knowing that i'm the cause of her not talking to me, i feel like my face just got grabbed and was thrown into horse sh**!! Because its stinks to lose her because of me.
And the last few weeks have been nothing but back and forth yappity yap yap!! And i'm tired of it. I mean, when i get married and MAYBE have children, i want them to get along with there aunt Cassandra, i'd rather have my children get along with her than f**king everything up with her because i can't have a «normal» conversation with her. I was actually thinking several times, my possible children saying - Dad? Why don't you talk to your sister??» I would not know what to say to that. - Son, Your dad never got along with your sister.»
That makes my heart grumble, minus that i'm hungry, but theres room for guilt right??
I hate having my sister not be able to understand the different way of thinking, and i especially hate when I just hurt the hell out of her, she said to me: - Sarcasm hurts.......» she said in tears. I just want everything to get better, things won't go away easily, I have to learn, she has to learn, we both have to learn. I want to get along, way before i get married, have kids (again, repetition of what i said earlier on this post) and have that relationship with my sister as a BFF, my sister means everything, and her saying to me she'll never forgive me ever again, makes my heart feels like she just took a nailgun and just kept on shooting at me, piercing me with all the flesh tearing away, and we all know that after flesh, there is the bones, the muscles, etc. Eventually it will lead to my heart, and she'll rip it to shreds.
My sister Cassandra, means everything to me, and I hate being the smart mouth hurting her, I admit, i've hit more than three strikes, i'm already out, i'm done, but she has to know that i'm sorry. Whatever happens, she may or may not have made the right descision, she knows what she's doing......and frankly......she was right, i don't know what i'm doing
*sigh* whatever
Tyler
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Someone needs help, and that someone is ME!!!
Meeting different people during my time at school as frankly become another game of twister. Some people are great and fun to be with, while others are just complete little f*cking bitches!! (forgive the language, its nessecary for me to make a point)
I remember posting a year ago of meeting a girl one time, that seemed to be one of a kind, frankly this person really show her true colors. Of course she came from another part of the planet, she viewed things differently, it all became clear of what she viewed me. A apparently stupid teenager that did not understand me at all. She was impossible to work with. To communicate normally was even harder, since i got really uncomfortable, i always layed a pointless joke to try and ease the pain. It sucked to finally realize that this person was quite the nagging and cranky person she was. And thinking that there was a connection back then was a huge mistake.
For after that whole year, the summer was the hardest, i kep thinking of the pain she gave me and i had to absorb it all in, it was like i did not have the time to weep. The tears never flowed beyong my eyesight, it was just complete sh*t!! Facebook became another drama, writing down my emotions seemed hard enough as it is, and reading her profile and seeing her face made me angry. It was uncontrolllable anger. Of course, i keep my anger in secret since there is so many important things to do. And during that time, my grandfather died and i was not myself. I was easily hurted and angered at school. I didn't care for school at all. Listening to myself seemed only to make things worst. So just shutting up and go to school and work is all i could really do.
*sigh* Now this person has become an annoyance in my life. She doesn't make sense, she's friends with one of my «close» friends, and with her in the picture, it seems that nothing can happen since she's there. The only time i have with my «special» friend is at the congregation and helping her with her English homework, then we used to go to the libary and talk, but my «speical» friend is being dragged away from me from that person. That person is angry with me because she realized that she was wrong and treated me like shit!! And that makes me proud, not because i pissed her off, i made her realize what she did wrong. And she's not speaking and ignoring me, like any other little brat would.
She acts so innocent and pretends like nothing happened. But when i talk with my «special» friend, she's so pissed that i have someone better than her. With all of this joy happening, why do i feel like shit??!!
Luckily, i have no answer at the momment, but i have only an ideal concept, i don't like arguing with friends, and frankly, that person was sorta my friend. She would text me telling about her boyfriend back in her country, i would encourage her, even though she hurted me, i always thought there would be hope for change.
I was wrong, she was just a b*tch, and i can't do anything about it. She's a child, and she doesn't know what she got herself into. She always called me stupid, because i joked and laughed with one of her guy friends (whom is my friend as well. ) She tried to fit in, yet she doesn' succeed because she doesn't understand what WE are saying and since she doesn't, she just calls me stupid.
WHAT A BUNCH OF SH*T!!!!!
That's when things in my life get so hard that i say: F*CK IT!! IM DONE!!! THANKS FOR PLAYING!!! I GIVE UP!!!»
Whatever happens, lets just hope its for the good of things.
Tyler
I remember posting a year ago of meeting a girl one time, that seemed to be one of a kind, frankly this person really show her true colors. Of course she came from another part of the planet, she viewed things differently, it all became clear of what she viewed me. A apparently stupid teenager that did not understand me at all. She was impossible to work with. To communicate normally was even harder, since i got really uncomfortable, i always layed a pointless joke to try and ease the pain. It sucked to finally realize that this person was quite the nagging and cranky person she was. And thinking that there was a connection back then was a huge mistake.
For after that whole year, the summer was the hardest, i kep thinking of the pain she gave me and i had to absorb it all in, it was like i did not have the time to weep. The tears never flowed beyong my eyesight, it was just complete sh*t!! Facebook became another drama, writing down my emotions seemed hard enough as it is, and reading her profile and seeing her face made me angry. It was uncontrolllable anger. Of course, i keep my anger in secret since there is so many important things to do. And during that time, my grandfather died and i was not myself. I was easily hurted and angered at school. I didn't care for school at all. Listening to myself seemed only to make things worst. So just shutting up and go to school and work is all i could really do.
*sigh* Now this person has become an annoyance in my life. She doesn't make sense, she's friends with one of my «close» friends, and with her in the picture, it seems that nothing can happen since she's there. The only time i have with my «special» friend is at the congregation and helping her with her English homework, then we used to go to the libary and talk, but my «speical» friend is being dragged away from me from that person. That person is angry with me because she realized that she was wrong and treated me like shit!! And that makes me proud, not because i pissed her off, i made her realize what she did wrong. And she's not speaking and ignoring me, like any other little brat would.
She acts so innocent and pretends like nothing happened. But when i talk with my «special» friend, she's so pissed that i have someone better than her. With all of this joy happening, why do i feel like shit??!!
Luckily, i have no answer at the momment, but i have only an ideal concept, i don't like arguing with friends, and frankly, that person was sorta my friend. She would text me telling about her boyfriend back in her country, i would encourage her, even though she hurted me, i always thought there would be hope for change.
I was wrong, she was just a b*tch, and i can't do anything about it. She's a child, and she doesn't know what she got herself into. She always called me stupid, because i joked and laughed with one of her guy friends (whom is my friend as well. ) She tried to fit in, yet she doesn' succeed because she doesn't understand what WE are saying and since she doesn't, she just calls me stupid.
WHAT A BUNCH OF SH*T!!!!!
That's when things in my life get so hard that i say: F*CK IT!! IM DONE!!! THANKS FOR PLAYING!!! I GIVE UP!!!»
Whatever happens, lets just hope its for the good of things.
Tyler
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Nothing seems right, no more logic
Alright, so many days have been passing by, craps been happening at home (minor) and at work (MAJOR).
Alot of bullshit has been cramping around school, nevertheless i really dont care, mostly my sarcasm has left its intactity, (in other words: its not intact) frankly i dont know why things have been so hectic lately, its like the event themselve look at my agenda and just go : lets just piss off that little f**ker!!» and smiling and then head to work by creating my life into a living hell.
But things this week are starting ok, i've returned to my congregation, seeing my old friends there, (no one my age thats why i said my OLD friends) Being back as a Jehovah Wittnesses has made things better, seeing the great influences rather than be overlooked by some rejects at work that dont have any morals and loves they're own egos. Its been great, however, things are getting weirder,
sadly, my heart bleeds for another, it doesnt make anysense, but of course wheni write my sentimental poetry, it makes everything better. for those years of being a Jehovah Wittnesses, theyre was no one my age to socialise with all things spiritual and even to hang out, but the beginning of the school year is the best thing happening right now, things are changing as i write this down. I've met another wittness at our school, since the absence of the last graduates of my school (whom 5 years ago there was only 1 wittness there at the school) finally i've met another with glad sincerity. Its a female, quite the personnality that i like, she's fantastic, amazing, funny, smart, and quite the joker (ok, funny was already there but still..)
Things are going ok, lets hope things stay that way..
Tyler Macfarlane
Alot of bullshit has been cramping around school, nevertheless i really dont care, mostly my sarcasm has left its intactity, (in other words: its not intact) frankly i dont know why things have been so hectic lately, its like the event themselve look at my agenda and just go : lets just piss off that little f**ker!!» and smiling and then head to work by creating my life into a living hell.
But things this week are starting ok, i've returned to my congregation, seeing my old friends there, (no one my age thats why i said my OLD friends) Being back as a Jehovah Wittnesses has made things better, seeing the great influences rather than be overlooked by some rejects at work that dont have any morals and loves they're own egos. Its been great, however, things are getting weirder,
sadly, my heart bleeds for another, it doesnt make anysense, but of course wheni write my sentimental poetry, it makes everything better. for those years of being a Jehovah Wittnesses, theyre was no one my age to socialise with all things spiritual and even to hang out, but the beginning of the school year is the best thing happening right now, things are changing as i write this down. I've met another wittness at our school, since the absence of the last graduates of my school (whom 5 years ago there was only 1 wittness there at the school) finally i've met another with glad sincerity. Its a female, quite the personnality that i like, she's fantastic, amazing, funny, smart, and quite the joker (ok, funny was already there but still..)
Things are going ok, lets hope things stay that way..
Tyler Macfarlane
Monday, September 20, 2010
Drunk........*sigh*
Its been a long day last weekend, here in Fredericton theres been a Festival in which case i DETESTE as of Saturday. The Havest Jazz and Blues Festival had been a regular occuring event here in Fredericton. Of course, theres alot of people attending the Festival, people laugh, cry, laugh again.....then they drink alcohol. On the 17th of September, i was working At Subway from 6pm to 3am (in other words, i was closing that day)
It was around midnight- 1am (i really forget the time) We where cleaning up the restaurant and occassionally serving some customers, and then cleaning again.
I was assigned on Drive-thru (my favorite thing of to do at work), i served a few cars then and there. Suddenly, this blue car pulls from the Canadian Tire gas station (which is on the far right from the store, quite the walk) and these FOUR drunk people (1 male 3 females) ALL intoxicated. I've never had to be this much patient with these customers in my life at Subway. They where cooperative, yet i felt very uncomfortable, later on i found out i could of had them removed from the store by the cops, (since our policy states that if an employee feels uncomfortable while serving an intoxicated customer, i can call the cops) yet i would have called the cops, but the manager later told me the whole policy thing AFTER they left probably DUI'ing without care.
The reason i hate the Harvest Jazz and Blues Festival, was because OUR Subway, somehow gets several intoxicated customers and it really bothers me. What i really dont understand is that the Festival is ALL the way down the hill and OUR Subway is ALL the way UP the hill. Which prompts me to say that there is a Subway near the Festival, but yet they decide to fricking go up the hill and then just f**k us up and stall the customers and make themselves look bad.
*sigh* And i hate being in charge, our store has hired more people, and some people from other stores transfer to our store. And Saturday (the 18 th of September) was basically the same thing. Except i was in charge, I thought it would be great to lead the newbies and teach them how to do things. Except that handling angry customer would have to fall to MY responsibilities. And on that Saturday, that was the worst day i've had to work during the school year. Two hours of non-stop customers, especially when theres a group of teen-french-quebecers that just tried to stall the line and made us really shaky and almost made me snap!!!
Right now, i have a full school week to get my mind of work and hopefully i have a better closing next friday (although i have airsoft on Sunday....YAY!!)
Whatever happens, its gonna be more that a footlong of trouble LOL!!
Tyler Macfarlane
It was around midnight- 1am (i really forget the time) We where cleaning up the restaurant and occassionally serving some customers, and then cleaning again.
I was assigned on Drive-thru (my favorite thing of to do at work), i served a few cars then and there. Suddenly, this blue car pulls from the Canadian Tire gas station (which is on the far right from the store, quite the walk) and these FOUR drunk people (1 male 3 females) ALL intoxicated. I've never had to be this much patient with these customers in my life at Subway. They where cooperative, yet i felt very uncomfortable, later on i found out i could of had them removed from the store by the cops, (since our policy states that if an employee feels uncomfortable while serving an intoxicated customer, i can call the cops) yet i would have called the cops, but the manager later told me the whole policy thing AFTER they left probably DUI'ing without care.
The reason i hate the Harvest Jazz and Blues Festival, was because OUR Subway, somehow gets several intoxicated customers and it really bothers me. What i really dont understand is that the Festival is ALL the way down the hill and OUR Subway is ALL the way UP the hill. Which prompts me to say that there is a Subway near the Festival, but yet they decide to fricking go up the hill and then just f**k us up and stall the customers and make themselves look bad.
*sigh* And i hate being in charge, our store has hired more people, and some people from other stores transfer to our store. And Saturday (the 18 th of September) was basically the same thing. Except i was in charge, I thought it would be great to lead the newbies and teach them how to do things. Except that handling angry customer would have to fall to MY responsibilities. And on that Saturday, that was the worst day i've had to work during the school year. Two hours of non-stop customers, especially when theres a group of teen-french-quebecers that just tried to stall the line and made us really shaky and almost made me snap!!!
Right now, i have a full school week to get my mind of work and hopefully i have a better closing next friday (although i have airsoft on Sunday....YAY!!)
Whatever happens, its gonna be more that a footlong of trouble LOL!!
Tyler Macfarlane
Monday, September 13, 2010
Oops, what happened??
Finally, theres been so much going on that taking time to write down on my blog has been a near impossibility,
Lets see....whats been going on?? Work, School started, its been cool but theres been alot of Drama and emotional stress beyond belief,
Everything seems to fall apart during the Month of May, June and them started to cool down around July and then August started to make progress,
The only problems i can really share with people right now is just my own struggling with emotions, my grandfathers death was a kick in the canal, (anal canal, just to let you know) Frankly, I dont care about other peoples opinion as of now, it just makes so difference into what youre going to do, I mean, heading to Montreal twice in two weeks was a middle finger to the circle of life, at the same time, it started to f**k up the family, we where very stressed during that time.
and now its my last year in high school (according to time itself.) the thing i love right now is Online classes, im doing technologie of design. whatever makes me happy at school is the people that listen to me (by just listening, thereby no needing to reply to my statements) and then the joy i get to make people laugh, by first doing impressions of some stereotypical bimbo that continously uses the words "SERIOUSLY" and also "LIKE...WHATEVERRR" and not forgetting to mention "TOTALLY"
and then theres my impersination of a Flamboyant homosexual (nothing against them, its just.......im really good at it) it pisses off my mother, but its just worth it, everytime i impersinate that accent and attitude it worries my mother that i may actually be a homosexual, shes says: - Tyler, youre scaring me!"
With the past few months going by and all the events taking its course in my life, theres been a gain of new hobbies, for example, airsoft,
Of course MOST people dont know what it is, mostly Military people would know what im talking about, Airsoft is like paintball, except the ammunition are little plastic BB's, they can be fired by any gun, electric (immitation of a automatic or Semi-Automatic gun powered by battery) a Spring gun or pistol ( Immitation of a Sniper Rifle, or Pistol powered by.......well a spring)
and then theres is a gas gun, rifles, pistols, shotguns, The point of the game is basically like laser tag, get as many points as you can for your team, I love airsoft for the fun, intensity of BB's flying all around you and the only thing you can think of is either shoot back (even though you dont know where the hell they are) or run like hell!! Ive started playing around the month of July and played a few back, theres gonna be some games at our school, but im not sure if there'll be time for me to do all the things i want,
Oh well, the point today, is that im back at school and im pretty sure more sarcastic rating will come along, just.....wait for it, i guess.......
Tyler
Lets see....whats been going on?? Work, School started, its been cool but theres been alot of Drama and emotional stress beyond belief,
Everything seems to fall apart during the Month of May, June and them started to cool down around July and then August started to make progress,
The only problems i can really share with people right now is just my own struggling with emotions, my grandfathers death was a kick in the canal, (anal canal, just to let you know) Frankly, I dont care about other peoples opinion as of now, it just makes so difference into what youre going to do, I mean, heading to Montreal twice in two weeks was a middle finger to the circle of life, at the same time, it started to f**k up the family, we where very stressed during that time.
and now its my last year in high school (according to time itself.) the thing i love right now is Online classes, im doing technologie of design. whatever makes me happy at school is the people that listen to me (by just listening, thereby no needing to reply to my statements) and then the joy i get to make people laugh, by first doing impressions of some stereotypical bimbo that continously uses the words "SERIOUSLY" and also "LIKE...WHATEVERRR" and not forgetting to mention "TOTALLY"
and then theres my impersination of a Flamboyant homosexual (nothing against them, its just.......im really good at it) it pisses off my mother, but its just worth it, everytime i impersinate that accent and attitude it worries my mother that i may actually be a homosexual, shes says: - Tyler, youre scaring me!"
With the past few months going by and all the events taking its course in my life, theres been a gain of new hobbies, for example, airsoft,
Of course MOST people dont know what it is, mostly Military people would know what im talking about, Airsoft is like paintball, except the ammunition are little plastic BB's, they can be fired by any gun, electric (immitation of a automatic or Semi-Automatic gun powered by battery) a Spring gun or pistol ( Immitation of a Sniper Rifle, or Pistol powered by.......well a spring)
and then theres is a gas gun, rifles, pistols, shotguns, The point of the game is basically like laser tag, get as many points as you can for your team, I love airsoft for the fun, intensity of BB's flying all around you and the only thing you can think of is either shoot back (even though you dont know where the hell they are) or run like hell!! Ive started playing around the month of July and played a few back, theres gonna be some games at our school, but im not sure if there'll be time for me to do all the things i want,
Oh well, the point today, is that im back at school and im pretty sure more sarcastic rating will come along, just.....wait for it, i guess.......
Tyler
Thursday, April 22, 2010
HAHAHAHA!!! LOVES SUCKS!!! B*LLS!!!
Let me get this straight, from what this f*cked up generation shows me, only looks care when you love someone??!!! HA!!! Makes me laugh and piss my pants when i hear of that, because SOME people can't seem to keep the relationships going because
1. the guy just loves boobs and genitals and only likes that person because of that. (NOT WHAT I'M EXPERIENCING)
2. The girl/guy can only be interested because the have the money and power (NOT WHAT I'M EXPERIENCING)
3. The person that you may love turn out to be a completely different person when it come to affection, HA!! That's what i'm getting to experience, let me elaborate:
this person (obviously a girl) is what a call in my dictionnary "Amazingly Beautiful" it was a shocker that this person was single, I was completely moved by her beauty, her smile, her interlectual thinking, her .....fussy eating habits and the way she yelled in English (not at me of course !!) and many other things,
She came a long way from being here in Canada, she came from Congo, yes, she's African, (doesn't really matter) there was times where i wanted to just be alone with her and just talk, talk talk and talk, get to know her and picture myself being a humble and "actual" nice guy that can treat a girl with respect (unlike other men at school). **Sigh**
We first met in grade ten, in gym class, our teacher was teaching us salsa dance and me and her danced, (that was a struggle that i had with anxiety, especially with a person this beautiful is not acting like a b*tch!! Unlike the other hot chicks who smoke pot and give BJ'S to anyone that says that they're hot. :( )
HA!! I remember it like it was yesterday, she was pretty, wonderful hair......see that's the thing about the women of Africa, they tend to have beautiful hair, braided, natural (never seen it though) , smoothed into the back of the head)
It sickens me to see how much injustice for me not to be able to communicate verbally with her, i always write her notes and tell her how i feel, but there's something that wasn't right about that, there was many things that i could truthfully tell her in my letter, but i was just scared that people that she knew may be showed the notes i right her.
And when it comes to sense of humour, she apparently laughs at burps and farts ....(awkward yet funny....somehow) and when i get overconfident about my looks she just laughs because she knows it isn't true that i'm "that" handsome (or even handsome at all, if it's that type of case) ........................**sigh**
As of these last few weeks there has been many complications regarding my feelings towards her, everything is like a roller coaster ride, i love her so much, she doesn't seem to understand my perspective of "love". Either i'm too good looking or there has been some major misunderstanding about me and her. Nothing feels like it's good enough, i want to engage into a relationship and she can't really understand what i'm saying, either that or she just isn't interested, that's when i cracked.........tired of the same routine, she's been chatting with another friend of hers in which "I" also loved for a while, it seemed that she agreed with her that i wasn't beautiful at all, that's was a little too f*cking honest right there!! If she wanted to help me float my boat (other words: make me feel happy) she'd be telling me lies instead of just "avoiding" the question: - Is Tyler beautiful??"
BUT NOOO!!! someone's gotta lay down the fire, one shot can be lethal my friends.....
Anyways, what else can i do?? go play tennis and whack my balls in a jar that says WILSON with a racket??! I haven't headed to the courts yet and that's my discovery of stress relief???!! NFW!!! (No.F*cking.Way)
I am tired of being judge by the looks on the outside (I AM SOMEWHAT GOOD LOOKING!!)
and then be rejected by some s*** that has more sexual relationship than Blanche Devero from the Golden Girls in a week, nothing makes senses, what?? is it my so called "sarcasm" I am not ALL the time sarcastic, during critical situation (like dissing your mom for example) is when i MOSTLY use my sarcasm and then i get LIKELY grounded OK??!!!
I don't know anymore, i'm tired of this same of routine of nice looking people choosing the hockey playing loser instead of a computer genius (who may or may not give you free repairs on your computer!!! ). it always seems to be the pretty people that are the a-holes. Damm!! it just sucks to have someone SOOOOO attractive, and then she turns you down without honesty and then it ends like that.........................................................................................................
Man!! I LOVE THIS BLOG!!! ANYONE ELSE WANNA SEE ME FREAK OUT ON BLOGSPOT.COM???!!!
YEAH!!! Rejection rules!!!
Give'ya an update later today and see what the hell is going on..........
Tyler Mac the depressed
1. the guy just loves boobs and genitals and only likes that person because of that. (NOT WHAT I'M EXPERIENCING)
2. The girl/guy can only be interested because the have the money and power (NOT WHAT I'M EXPERIENCING)
3. The person that you may love turn out to be a completely different person when it come to affection, HA!! That's what i'm getting to experience, let me elaborate:
this person (obviously a girl) is what a call in my dictionnary "Amazingly Beautiful" it was a shocker that this person was single, I was completely moved by her beauty, her smile, her interlectual thinking, her .....fussy eating habits and the way she yelled in English (not at me of course !!) and many other things,
She came a long way from being here in Canada, she came from Congo, yes, she's African, (doesn't really matter) there was times where i wanted to just be alone with her and just talk, talk talk and talk, get to know her and picture myself being a humble and "actual" nice guy that can treat a girl with respect (unlike other men at school). **Sigh**
We first met in grade ten, in gym class, our teacher was teaching us salsa dance and me and her danced, (that was a struggle that i had with anxiety, especially with a person this beautiful is not acting like a b*tch!! Unlike the other hot chicks who smoke pot and give BJ'S to anyone that says that they're hot. :( )
HA!! I remember it like it was yesterday, she was pretty, wonderful hair......see that's the thing about the women of Africa, they tend to have beautiful hair, braided, natural (never seen it though) , smoothed into the back of the head)
It sickens me to see how much injustice for me not to be able to communicate verbally with her, i always write her notes and tell her how i feel, but there's something that wasn't right about that, there was many things that i could truthfully tell her in my letter, but i was just scared that people that she knew may be showed the notes i right her.
And when it comes to sense of humour, she apparently laughs at burps and farts ....(awkward yet funny....somehow) and when i get overconfident about my looks she just laughs because she knows it isn't true that i'm "that" handsome (or even handsome at all, if it's that type of case) ........................**sigh**
As of these last few weeks there has been many complications regarding my feelings towards her, everything is like a roller coaster ride, i love her so much, she doesn't seem to understand my perspective of "love". Either i'm too good looking or there has been some major misunderstanding about me and her. Nothing feels like it's good enough, i want to engage into a relationship and she can't really understand what i'm saying, either that or she just isn't interested, that's when i cracked.........tired of the same routine, she's been chatting with another friend of hers in which "I" also loved for a while, it seemed that she agreed with her that i wasn't beautiful at all, that's was a little too f*cking honest right there!! If she wanted to help me float my boat (other words: make me feel happy) she'd be telling me lies instead of just "avoiding" the question: - Is Tyler beautiful??"
BUT NOOO!!! someone's gotta lay down the fire, one shot can be lethal my friends.....
Anyways, what else can i do?? go play tennis and whack my balls in a jar that says WILSON with a racket??! I haven't headed to the courts yet and that's my discovery of stress relief???!! NFW!!! (No.F*cking.Way)
I am tired of being judge by the looks on the outside (I AM SOMEWHAT GOOD LOOKING!!)
and then be rejected by some s*** that has more sexual relationship than Blanche Devero from the Golden Girls in a week, nothing makes senses, what?? is it my so called "sarcasm" I am not ALL the time sarcastic, during critical situation (like dissing your mom for example) is when i MOSTLY use my sarcasm and then i get LIKELY grounded OK??!!!
I don't know anymore, i'm tired of this same of routine of nice looking people choosing the hockey playing loser instead of a computer genius (who may or may not give you free repairs on your computer!!! ). it always seems to be the pretty people that are the a-holes. Damm!! it just sucks to have someone SOOOOO attractive, and then she turns you down without honesty and then it ends like that.........................................................................................................
Man!! I LOVE THIS BLOG!!! ANYONE ELSE WANNA SEE ME FREAK OUT ON BLOGSPOT.COM???!!!
YEAH!!! Rejection rules!!!
Give'ya an update later today and see what the hell is going on..........
Tyler Mac the depressed
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
AAARRGHHH!!! Money is the dumbest thing that man has ever invented!!!
Something lucky always happens to me, i have this distinctive thing about lightsabers, it amazes me how a glowing stick manages to make people mad!! I love it!! Sadly, i've always hated the tiny little ones made out of hardened plastic, and the "Plastic" blade was only sixteen inches of length. Like many posts before, i have told everyone that i knew, that i was getting a saber, like it or not my parents let me get a job (i'm sorry, i should have rephrased it: Ready or not.) I was tired of seeing things that where "over" my "allowance", and i was 15 years old when i was thinking about working somewhere, the problem was : where? , besides, My mouth was drooling when i saw this:
And then i saw several other designs that seemed "cool" at the time such as this one:
And then there was many other's that inspired me to buy, but this one (which i've bought) has made me happy at the beginning and then it made me upset was from a company called Saberforge, i'm returning the defective product that they send me (without even any supplies to allow me to attach the blade to the hilt.........curious)
But then i feel in love with Ultrasabers (in other words: I'm trying another company) They make saber out of complete near/undestructable/great color/comes with a screw/good price/good shipping/etc/etc/etc
Sadly, i have to return the first one that i bought already (but.......i already got the money order for the other one.........so.......................yeah!!) Now i'm just trying to find a certain company that makes it easy for me to :
1. Have a continuous supply of sabers (in case of large people want to duel)
2. Have a reliable company that ships really quick (in which Ultrasabers, they do.)
3. They have a variety of sabers (single-sabers, double-bladed-staff, tonfas, kamas, etc. )
4. They can have more than one method of payment (in which Ultrasabers has many, varieting from: paypal, money-orders, etc. )
Nothing else seems to surprise me, but i'm taking care of many things right, now, my school work, my job, my saber issues, my love life, my battle with anxiety and it's entity that lives within me, and there also a problem with me and money, i HAVE TO open a savings account, that's the thing that makes me want to save my money for the near-futur and beyond (like 10 years........or maybe 20 years.)
**sigh** and there's this craving for to point out what's going on with my love life, first of all, to all those who think i'm a f*ggot; my sexuality is currently none of your business, however i will point out something that i am heterosexual.
Anyways, love and sadness have made this a veeerrryyyy bumpy roller coaster ride, there that feeling of loving someone, and then just missing a certain person in your life, like my grand-father for example. I am very attracted to someone as of this point in my life (which i find to be normal at this stage in my life) she's quite the person, she's not from North America i can tell you that (that's it though!!) and she's quite pretty, yet there has been some..........complication regarding our understanding of each other, there hasn't been a day that i think of her, even at work. She make my life special, she means something and plays a part in my life at school, she 's one of the regular people that i speak to. It magical that it makes me feel this way, but then she's one person that you reeeaalllly need to completely have patience with (which in my degree of patience 1 being as impatience as a young child to 10 being patient a Jesus Christ would be, and my rating for myslef would be 5/10, i can tolerate something for a while but then i have to wonder: what the hell is going on?? is there a change to the plan and i wasn't told about??!"
Anyways, let's see where it goes.
Tyler Mac
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